


15x18 coda crack!fic

by gay_trash_can



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x18, 15x18 coda, Crack, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Vladimir Putin ships destiel, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27415900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_trash_can/pseuds/gay_trash_can
Summary: Dean just lost Cas, but him and Sam somehow still have to kill god.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 44
Kudos: 118





	15x18 coda crack!fic

**Author's Note:**

> The writers are cowards for not doing more. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

Goodbye Dean

Cas really just died, right infront of him, after confessing his years long love for him. Dean had no idea why he didn’t say “I love you” back, after all, he felt it. It seemed like a completely different person took over his body and refused to even acknowledge his feeling for Cas. Hmm, that’s probably Chuck’s doing or something. He seems like the type to enjoy an unrequited love confession where they die at the end. God, he’s a shit writer. 

Anyway, Dean collapsed against the wall out of complete sadness and regret, unable to answer Sam’s calls. 

Hours later, Sam showed up and found Dean, who had been sitting there sad, and went to ask him what happened.

“What happened?” said Sam.

“It’s Cas, he— he died” replied Dean, sad.

“Damn, again???” 

“Yeah, but this time it was worse”

“How so”

“He told me he loved me”

“We been knew, go on…”

“And I felt like something was stopping me from saying it back, and before I could, the empty took him”

“And I thought I had it bad losing Eileen”

“Yeah, but at least your romance was well developed”

“Touché”

They stood there for a moment, and then Jack walked in.

Jack began to great, “Hey Dean. Hey Sam. Hey-...” jack realized that cas was I fact not there

“Where’s cas?” Jack asked?

“Gone. He confessed his gay love to me and then he was sent to Super Mega Hell,” Dean replied.

“Wow, I swear every time Chuck writes, it’s worse than the last.” Jack said

“Yeah. Speaking of Chuck, how are we gonna kill him?” Sam chimed in

“We’ll do what we always do. Confront big bad with absolutely no plan and somehow win via a deus ex machina.” Dean stated.

“Makes sense to me,” Sam said.

“Great, now that that’s solved, I’m gonna go make some TikToks,” Said jack

“Ok, you do that. Sam, how about you get us packed to go confront god, and I’ll just sit here mourning my not-yet lover,” said Dean.

And they did just that. Dean mourned Cas, Sam packed a bunch of books, herbs, and cursed items, and Jack did a renegade that would rival Charli.

Finally the time came to confront God. At around 2am, Team Free Will 1.5 got in the impala and drove to the nearest Walmart, because what better place for a world-ending showdown with god himself, than an empty Walmart parking lot at 2am. 

They exited the car, weapons in hand, and Dean shouted, fist up to the sky, “get down here Chuck so I can fucking kill you.” 

And lo and behold, Chuck appeared. 

“Hello Dean, Sam, Jack, and— where’s Cas? Oh right,” chuck laughed. 

“You’re gonna pay for that, Chuck”, Dean shouted

“I swear we’ve been through this already. You call me down, you say you’re gonna kill me, you fail… honestly, it’s gotten so boring, when will something differ—“ Chuck’s sentence is cut off.

Chucks sentence is cut off by the deafening sounds of a helicopter descending into the parking lot.

“Ok, I know when I say this I’m usually lying, but for one, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on,” Chuck said.

The helicopter landed, the door opened, and the man who stepped out of the copter was none other than Vladimir Putin himslef.

“Putin?!” everyone said in unison.

“Yes, it is I, Vladimir Putin. I assume you all know that I have decided to step down from my role as leader of Russia.” Putin declared, in a Russian accent.

“Wait, you’re stepping down?” Asked Sam.

“Yeah, didn’t you see, it was trending on twitter” said Putin, Russianly

“—Twitter? You mean like… nevermind. Why are you stepping down?” Sam asked.

“You see, what told the press was that it’s for health reasons, but in reality, I have a job to do. When Castiel confessed his love to Dean, only to get dragged away immediatley after, I was mad. Yes, Destiel is canon, but they deserved better. And so I’m here to fix it.” Putin vladly stated.

“Wait how do you know all that,” Dean questioned.

God cleared his throat, clearly feeling neglected. “You know I’m still here guys. I’m God, you can’t ignore me”

“Oh yeah. Don’t we still have to kill him?” Asked Jack.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, I’ll take care of it.” Vlad said. He picked up a chunk of concrete from terribly-maintained parking lot.

“What are you gonna do with that?” Dean asked.

Putin responded by walking up Chuck and bashing him in the back of the head with it, and Chuck immediately fell over.

“So is he… dead?” asked Dean?

“He should be” Putin said.

“How?” Asked Sam?

Putin responded, “Being the former head of Russia, I had access to information that was under high levels of secrecy. One of those pieces being how to kill god. One way is to combine some of the worst and most cursed parts of humanity and use it against him. A 3am Walmart parking lot with 10 year neglected pot holes is definitely cursed enough. It was smart of you to choose this location. Furthermore, with me delivering the final blow, it definitely added to the cursed energy, with me being one of the worst people humanity has to offer. And that’s how God died.”

Everyone was stunned. Was killing God really that easy?

Jack finally broke the silence. “So know that you’ve killed god, what are you gonna do next?”

“I have many plans: get System of a Down to release new music, send dynamite to the president of Bolivia, announce a Sherlock season 5, finish counting the ballots in Nevada… Actually, I might be able to get all those done tonight— except for the Nevada one.”

“Um, well thank you Mr. Putin, it was nice meeting you,” Jack said

Sam and Dean also offered their thanks, and Putin said his goodbyes, boarding the helicopter, and he ascended to the skies.

“We did it!” said Sam, “we finally killed Chuck!”

“Did we? I think it was mostly Putin tbh.” Jack stated

“Yeah, but if weren’t for us, Chuck wouldn’t have came to this Walmart,” Replied Sam

“If only Cas were here…” Dean said, “...I really miss him.”

Just then, a bright white light appeared, and then Castiel. 

“Cas! You’re back! How?” Dean said, amazed.

“I have no idea, all I know is that I’m supposed to tell you this, ‘Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day’”

“Cas you have no idea how much I’ve missed you. There’s so much I haven’t said” 

“You don’t have to say anything, Dean”

“I know but I want to. Cas, I love you too” 

“Really?”

“Yes really”

And Dean went up, grabbed Castiel by the trench coat, and pulled Cas into a kiss so passionate, Jensen Ackles would die at the idea of ever having to portray it. 

Dean finally broke the kiss, and Sam and Jack started clapping. Cas went over to hug the other two, as they caught him up to speed. 

Sam also received a bunch of texts saying that all the people who were erased from the world recently have safely returned. That means Eileen is safe.

So Team Free Will 2.0 really did it. God is dead, Dean and Cas are together, and everyone gets their happy ending. They couldn’t imagine it working out any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> I finished writing this at 5am and I have a Calculus 2 exam at 10:30am. Please leave a kudos in hopes that I pass, or at least, stay awake.


End file.
